A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD - UBER MOVIE REVIEW

Radioactive protection gear is the way of the future, buy yours today!

Apr 9th, 2013 -- By Ress Cor -- Chief Editor

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This is "Bruce Willis" class... Yeipeee Kaaaaeee!!!

Why the F does John Moore still have a job?

Yiiieee Piii Kaaa EEeeee Mother Ducker! No I did not spell that wrong, I am talking about a duck mother goose. However... back to the review. John Moore Sucks! Who in their right might let John Moore get his hands on the Die Hard franchise???? Who ever it was I hope they get fired so hard they forget their severance check on the way out down the chute to hell!! Holy shit, I mean John Moore just wiped the floor with the blood and sweat from the four previous Die Hard movies (well not sure if I can count number 4... it was also pretty terrible)!

Along with the travel guide, make sure you arrange for an armoured car and armed security!

Story

John finds out that his son is trouble and travels to Moscow to rescue him but Jack is a CIA operative on a mission and John actually fucks everything up by being a dad. That's it! Oh there is not even a single shower scene of Yuliya Snigir... with a budget of nearly one hundred million and an R rating they could not get her into more comfortable clothes for more then a split second?? WTF! John Moore needs to spend some time in a "how not to waste your movie budget on total horseshit" seminar.

Jack just missed the 1/2 price sale at K-Mart on guns!

The Movie

A Good Day to Die Hard has a terrible script that has no emotinal tension... if anything, this is anything but a Die Hard movie! Some films can easily get away with over the top action... but the John's character was always that of a regular cop who simply gets caught up in a situation and needs to save a family member... oh how I miss the glory days of Die Hard and Die Hard 2!

In A Good Day to Die Hard there is nothing that does not explode in your face every 5 fucking minutes of the film. This is action porn but done very sloppy! There is so much action so often that you quickly get bored in the middle of watching the film.... I mean you pretty much know what's coming...

Want more proof that John Moore thinks you're a retard??? Ok, the combat chopper scene with mounted machine gun versus 2 guys in t-shirts trying to outrun the bullets (which they do in the movie)... it is John Moore's assumption that Die Hard fans are SO F'ing STUPID that we don't know that a machine gun of that calibre fires something to the tune of 100 rounds per second!!!!!!!! One hundred bullets per second.... how the F do you outrun that!!! Well apparently if you're John Moore (aka a moron) you think that this kind of action sequence will blow your mind LOL!!!!

Yea more of this and less exploding cars would have made the movie way more watchable... seriously!

Acting

The acting was actually good... Willis still got his mojo!!

Like father, like son... in this case one apple didn't fall too far from the tree...

Special Effects & Sound

There are effects like everywhere!!! Shit I am adding stars because the effects were freaking AWESOME! And what's more there was a SHIT TON of them! There are more cars torn up in this film than in James Bond films combined! Also the bad guy gets splattered by chopper blades and his daughter suicides by blowing said chopper up... oops, sorry spoiler! Send me an angry e-mail if you want about it!

Just heading up to the ballroom for a hot Euro party.

The Verdict

First of all, action porn all over! Second, this is not a Die Hard movie, it's just another action flick... except with a ridiculous amount of destruction and effects. For some the film will REALLY disappoint, however, catch it on a cheap Tuesday and you have the perfect guys night flick especially if you want to see a LOT of shit get blown up!

If anything your eyes will thank you while your brain commits silent suicide.